Love and learning are found in the silent spaces between the words uttered, interior feelings stirred, and the facial and body language decoded.  As we take in and experience another-especially in the relational spaces of couples, family and friends- mindfulness based practices and the positive psychology trait of love provide guidelines and practices that can support our ability to be in the silence and receive her messages with tenderness.

In the positive psychology literature, the virtue of love has three central central character strengths: kindness, intimacy and social intelligence.  Kindness and intimacy allow for good deeds to be extended, trust to be experienced, and emotional closeness to be deepened.  Social intelligence helps one understand his/her motives or feelings, that of others, and what is appropriate in different contexts.  When one engages in mindfulness-based practices (meditation/body scans/yoga/focused attention on a given object), the ability to offer presence and discern feelings and cues of self and others become more accessible and natural.  

Ultimately, when we learn and accept, we integrate; we return to our natural, in-born wholeness.  In our wholeness, we can understand-and love-the fragmented selves of another.  And, like ourselves, we have a felt sense that they are just as complete, imbued with a life-spirit that perhaps a little kindness in the right moment can heal. We offer this, knowing notions of pride, getting in the last word, pointing a finger, fade with the light of a generous heart and a magnanimous mind. 

A few weeks ago, there was an article in The Times  titled "United by Genocide."  It highlighted the historical, political, and personal dimensions to the Armenian genocide by the Ottoman Turkish government in 1915.  While the Armenian flag (red, blue and orange) was visible and known, what many may not recognize -and was omitted from the article, although in the foreground of the photo, was the Assyrian flag and their genocide of an estimated 500,000 Aramean (Assyrian/Chaldean/Syriac) deaths during the same period by the Ottoman Turkish government.

The Assyrian flag (red, white and blue, as shown in the photo) symbolizes the ethnic Mesopotamian people who trace their roots to the ancient Near East (think of the Biblical Abraham emerging from "Ur of the Chaldees") ,and continue to speak Aramaic (the language Christ spoke).  Arameans, (an umbrella term for the Assyrians, Chaldeans and Syriacs) do not have a homeland and continue to be persecuted as a non-Arab, non-Islamic ethnic and religious minority in the Middle East. At present, Arameans can be found in Iraq, Iran, Syria, Turkey, Israel, and Western countries. 

When we think about genocidal campaigns, most of us are utterly baffled, disturbed and deeply saddened at the organization and systematic carrying out of horrific crimes against human beings.  While many invoke "Never again!," it seems very clear that any group that is demonized can be gradually dehumanized and then be targets. Thus, we must guard our thoughts and actions to reject rhetoric that foments hate or hostility to any group-even while we seek justice for minorities that have been persecuted.  We must set forth to see and recognize the humanity of all human life and the ties that unite us.

We must also condemn hate-filled rhetoric and acts.  Hannah Arendt's idea of "the banality of evil" applies here: If people carry forth in their days, discharge of their duties without thought, Nazis and Nazi-like apparatuses can be supported.  In each moment, we are given the ability to choose what we let assimilate into our hearts, minds and families.  We have the opportunity for thoughts and actions to be well-thought out or perfunctory.  As we turn to analyses of difficult international conflicts and relations between groups here in the States, we may want to ask ourselves: How do we talk about other people/groups?  Are we able to teach our children within group differences?  Do we attempt to "bracket" our own biases and prejudices for deeper understandings?  Does the language we use about other groups dehumanize?  To whom do we turn for information? Do we seek out alternative media sources, non-mainstream, wrestle with ideas proffered from the Far Left to Far Right, perhaps strengthening our resolve and political leanings in some areas, while acknowledging merit in some areas in the other camp? 

As we wrestle with the horrors of war and political ideologies that destroy life, we as individuals and as members of families can take steps to more closely realize "Never again!"