"Vocation does not mean a goal that I pursue.  It means a calling that I hear."  Parker Palmer

Parker Palmer in his book Let Your Life Speak notes that the Latin derivation of "vocation" is rooted in "voice."  Life speaks to us and can be a guide in our choices for our life's path.  Learning to discern and listen to your own voice, hopes, talents as they speak to you, independent of the well-intentioned messages you may have assimilated from family, friends or society at large can be helpful.  

Listen to the patterns, the synchronicities, the awakenings of the mind and heart when you engage in something.  Listen to your body...listen to the ease, the lightness, the fluidity of voice, the elongation of your spine, the curiosity of the moments. Listen to your heart: does she feel expansive, open, generous and warm?

Listen and be led to where Love is meeting you...

“It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you don’t stop.”  Confucius
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The journey to be the best version of the self is lifelong.  “Slow” is relative and since we’re all unique, there’s a process that allows for what is encountered/revealed on its own time.  Steadfast in our journeys may mean that we desire and seek self-knowledge, steady our hearts to understand others, and do the best we know to correct what might be in need of correcting.  We do this without attachment to an outcome, but with a celebration for each choice made that we know to be good and helpful to self, others, and our world.

“The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive.  The great opportunity is where you are.” John Burroughs
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Sometimes we get lost in planning, anticipating a moment that x or y will be better or worse, or an experience can happen only when x or y happens.  We delay living now for some moment in the future.  While we may hold goals for the future and engage in ways in the present to support those goals, if a pattern is recognized that is often leaving the present for tomorrow, the invitation for growth is in meeting the moment and seeing what it wants to say.

Questions that can support awareness of a tendency to leave the present or delay moments of living fully today are: 1) In what area(s) of my life do I seem to neglect or not make sufficient time for? 2) Do I have many “If x, then y can be” understandings that can be seen in another way and allow for an experience today, and not in the future?  3) Are there areas of my life that feel out of balance and/or experience a lack of ease (physical, emotional, psychological)? 

If there are challenges identifying these things, sometimes a trusted mentor, friend, partner, family member or therapist can support you in finding the opportunities right where you are AND just as you are, to live right now with consideration of priorities and values aligned.

“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.” Friederich Nietzche

​I think there are two qualities that can help with this: humility and dignity.  If I can tap into the part that sees something (an ideology/behavior) as a monster of sorts with a guidance system that asks questions to support HELPFUL OUTCOMES/HEALING not just in the immediate, but in the future, I might be better able to ensure my behaviors do not reflect that of a monster. 

​At the most basic level, this means that each human being has dignity, value and a life embedded in a world of others and their experiences. It also means that their experiences and understandings when listening deeply might inform another/different understanding.   How I think about the “monster(s),” the words I use to describe them and the actions I take will all matter in extending healing or furthering harm to the situation.  This doesn’t mean soft; this may mean wise boundaries, skillful action, organization and voice to contain the monster part.  In more benign situations, it may mean greater flexibility of mind and softening of the heart in seeing that differences are just that-nothing more, nothing less.

“To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.”  Helen Keller

​As we encounter change in our personal lives and/or in society at large, how might the free-spirited part of the self respond to unanticipated or unwanted changes?  Curiously, compassionately and courageously…

“This above all: to thine own self be true.” William Shakespeare

It takes self-awareness and courage to see, acknowledge and be with all parts of ourselves-the good to the less good.  As we grow in self-knowledge, work with integrating experiences that may have been out of alignment with the being we are today, we increase our confidence and are better able to be true to our ideals, authentic with others, and receive others and their parts with a greater capacity to see them in their totality-celebrating their gifts and extending unwavering belief in their ability to heal and transform their places of woundedness.  

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” Khalil Gibran
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My experience in my own life and in my clinical work with others is that emotional and physical pain often has a message for us.  Slowing down-and a dedicated daily practice of silence-can support us in picking up the broken pieces of the shell, piecing them together with care, holding them with love and listening with openness to receive her message.  

 “Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life.”  Natalie Babbitt
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Say "yes" to yourself...

The question is not what a man can scorn, or disparage, or find fault with, but what he can love, and value, and appreciate."  John Ruskin

Focusing on what we love, value and appreciate not only increases our sense of well being, it also is generative in all life domains.  When we're in a grateful state, we make better decisions, are more productive, happier and enjoy greater ease in our relationships.

Some sample questions to reflect on at the end of the day, which can support gratitude, connection and clear seeing are: "Have I loved well today?"  "Was I fair-minded?"  "What was a delightful moment?"  "What went well?"  "What kindnesses did I receive today: a smile, an encouraging word?"  "What did I hear, see, listen to, offer ,or witness that affirms the beauty of life, the beauty of human beings, and the beauty of our world?" "What awakened compassion in me?"  "Was I able to see the suffering in the world or did I turn away, not wanting to see or respond?" "Was I able to see my own hurts, my own longings, hold them with care and compassion?"