Doing vs. Being Thankful: When, Why, and How

.On this Thanksgiving Day, I'm reflecting on the broad spectrum of encounters we can have with this holiday.  Depending upon past memories and/or present realities, it can bring forth both positive and negative emotions.  For these very reasons, I value both the "doing" of thankfulness, and what I believe to be the more ideal, lofty inner state of "being" (thankful?).

Doing suggests intentionality.  It calls us to resolve to see and actively acknowledge what is right and good in our lives, in our families, in our loved ones, and in our world.  

• When: We do thankfulness when we notice a predominant and ongoing focus on what is wrong in our lives, in the world.  We do thankfulness when we want to actively boost positive emotion.  We do thankfulness when we want to express heartfelt gratitude.
• Why:  We do thankfulness in these moments for ourselves, for others, for bringing forth Light.  We do it  to touch the fullness of life, seeing the totality of experiences, which often can hold life affirming potentials, even amidst difficulties. We "do thankfulness" as part of a path of being a grateful person
• How: We can notice the language we use to describe ourselves or others.  There must be consistency and dignity extended to ourselves and others-especially those whom we find most difficult. We also recognize what is right, good, or even OK in our lives.  "I'm so grateful for my friends, my family, that I have a roof over my head."  "Wow! I am so lucky that I can read, write, think."  "How blessed I am to have choices, to have legs, eyes, hands," for example.  We do gratitude by calling forth things we're grateful for and feeling appreciation with intensity.

Being suggests an enduring state in which emotions (positive-neutral-negative) are experienced with centeredness and grounding in the truth of who we are, the spark of humanity in each and every human being.  Here, we can encounter disappointments, sadness, tragedy, evil acts, and sit with it, move through it in our own time, ultimately trusting in the deeper meanings of our lives and our world. Here, we experience connection and oneness with all life.  

• When: It's beyond temporal experience.  It is...
• Why: It allows us to be in this world-with some inherent suffering- and live with joy, purpose, and curiosity.  It allows us to sit with others-at times with their pain- and just be present.  No words, just presence and care, holding for them the truth that it will all be OK.  We hold this truth for them because we have touched it in our own lives.
• How: Cognitively and intuitively.  Cognitively: We ask questions that seek to inspire ourselves and others to goodness, purpose, and the healing of our world through acts of loving kindness. Intuitively: We orient to life in different ways: for some it will be nature, others, spiritual practices, music, play, and/or some other experience that attunes us to our inner core...It is beyond thought, it is...

However you are doing and being thankful today,  may it be meaningful.