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Finding Healing in Flexibility & Forgiveness

6/25/2016

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Encountering life can be utterly interesting, baffling, and challenging.  We move through moments of curiosity about why things happen, to questions of what can and what cannot be controlled.  We question ourselves, our choices, our past experiences.  We lift ourselves up; we tear ourselves down.  We wonder...and we wander...along the paths of our lives, the people with whom we have journeyed forth with- and say: Is this why?  Is this why this perceived loss is here-at this moment, and the next?  And then, the next moment...or the next, we return to ourselves and see that what looks like loss is an invitation to develop a deeper understanding, sensitivity, wisdom, gentleness and healing through FLEXIBILITY OF MIND & FORGIVENESS. 

Let us consider an example and apply the principle of flexibility and forgiveness:  A health nut most of his life (eats what he perceives as a whole, nutritiously dense diet, exercises, meditates, monitors what he feeds the mind, but develops a chronic disease, a cancer, or some serious physical ailment.  He takes some logical steps to heal: i) He consults with Western practitioners of medicine, ii) functional/integrative care practitioners.  He has options, some of which are more invasive; others, more risky.  He is circumspect in his emotional life: He reflects upon experiences from youth to present and understands the need to let this or that hurt be released, this judgment, disappointment or anger be cleansed from the heart, moved outward in only one spirit of true love and forgiveness.  He takes this first step to heal...

He seeks the familiarity and counsel of his intimates...

He experiences helpful and unhelpful encounters.
  •  Helpful questions/thoughts from friends/family:  "Is there anything I can do?"  "Where does your gut/intuition lead you?"  "You are in my thoughts/prayers."  "You'll find the right answer."  "Whatever happens, I trust that you'll be okay."
  • Unhelpful questions/thoughts from family/friends: "It happens for a reason."  "You don't want to eat that!" "Really...you're going to do what."  "Do good deeds for the times you missed the mark".  "Do this..."  "This is the way...        
He returns to himself surfeited with information from doctors, integrative practitioner, articles, YouTube videos, web searches, family, friends, others that he has considered since the diagnosis.  He finds common themes for direction and gains a deeper wisdom that transcends all the protocols:  He learns flexibility at a deeper level and surrenders his previous well thought out philosophical understandings: For example, a vegetarian/vegan may eat meat/chicken/fish, or a carnivore may become plant-based.  A highly disciplined, engaged, schedule-oriented, high achiever may say "This can wait until tomorrow," "I'm going to do nothing today"  A lackadaisical person may become more passionate, disciplined, involved in hobbies.  As he exercises flexibility, he observes what happens.

He also tends to the heart:  He seeks to forgive and to be forgiven. He invites the transformation of past hurts to an elevation of a life in which experiences of gentleness are there, freely given, and graciously received.  He surrenders his health; he surrenders his health challenges.  He surrenders his thoughts of right-doing; he surrenders his thoughts of wrong-doing.  He deepens his curiosity about this life now, knowing that flexibility of mind and forgiveness may be asked of him tomorrow. 


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    Nadia Brewart, Ph.D., is a student of life with an insatiable curiosity about what it means to be human, amidst encounters with the human condition. 

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