Positive Psychology, Mindfulness, and the Science of Well-Being
  • About Me
  • Book Reviews & Recommended Reading
  • Consultation/Fees/Contact Information
  • Blog
  • Positive Psychology & Mindfulness

Interactional Styles:  The Dignity of Assertive Communication

5/2/2017

0 Comments

 
We understand that about 80% of communication is non-verbal.  Our bodies tell others what words may not.  There is wisdom in this as we learn to trust our intuitive impressions.  While the ideal is that we communicate and interact with others with respect, dignity and mutual consideration, there may be times when a pattern of interacting creates less helpful outcomes for oneself and others.  To bring forth greater harmony between the words-and the meaning between the words, it’s important to strive for assertive communication.  In this post, I will summarize and give examples of the four main interactional styles that theorists have talked about and argue for the practice of an assertive interactional style.
Four interactional patterns:
Aggressive:  In this style, one person dominates and his/her needs are placed above the needs, desires or well-being of another.   Example:  In its ugliest form, there can be verbal or physical aggression that intimidates.  More subtle aggression is no consideration for the needs of the other person, such as where he/she may want to eat, where they go, what film they see, etc…
Passive:  A passive interaction involves one person yielding to another’s demands without consideration for his/her own personal needs, wants, or wellness.  Example:  Not speaking up about something that is important to you and doing something you don’t want to do, which negatively impacts you.
Passive-Aggressive:  A passive-aggressive style is when one person resents something or is negative about you or a situation, but does not communicate directly and “gets back” in other ways. Example: Delayed or no response to texts/phone calls/e-mails, or going along with something and being negative and complaining about it.
Assertive: An assertive style is ideal in that a person communicates their thoughts and feelings in a non-aggressive and truthful way, listens to another, and considers both perspectives.  Example:  “When this happened, I felt …” or “It’s important to me that…” Then, be willing to listen, learn, negotiate.
Some people may argue that they “have no choice,” but to be non-assertive with certain individuals in their lives, suggesting that the other person will not understand, or that the person is in a position of power or authority over them.  Some say being passive is a way “to keep the peace,” but we always have a choice to interact assertively and it is healthy and good when we do so.  When we’re assertive, there will not only be a beautiful harmony between our words and body language, but also an extension of dignity and respect as we stay true to and nurture our best self, while we extend and hold forth a vision of our interactional partner responding in kind.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Nadia Brewart, Ph.D., is a student of life with an insatiable curiosity about what it means to be human, amidst encounters with the human condition. 

    Picture

    Archives

    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    August 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    September 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.