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Self Care as Self-Discipline

10/27/2019

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In my work as a psychotherapist, I encounter self-care on two ends: i) It's viewed as necessary in professional literature for therapists to practice self-care to stave off burn out and support effective clinical care to clients, and ii) for clients and/or caregivers of clients (parents, partners, etc), to nourish themselves and add balance to various domains of life.  It's common to hear parents and sometimes even therapists suggest directly or indirectly that self-care is selfish or self-absorption.  In this view, erroneously, there's an identification with more self-sacrifice and nobility in NOT engaging in "self-care" practices.   I'd like to make an argument that may provide those that honestly view self-care as having traces of selfishness to consider it as an art of self-discipline.  Perhaps a reframing and different use of language around self-care can nudge some to view it in more helpful and rational ways and also motivate them to establish a self-care routine. 

Art and self- care share in common new ways of seeing, being, living and engaging in our world, but it's not always a sort of loveliness or very pretty at times; it can jolt us and it's process is not linear.  It's much like self-discipline: It has the potential to move, to transform and to discover ways of understanding and being in our world, but initially in establishing a practice or routine of self-care, it can get messy, feel tough, meet progress, regression and progress again. Sure, it may take little/no effort to schedule the massage, vacation, or outing with friends as self-care, but additional self-care practices (good nutrition, exercise, meditation, reading, sleep/rest,etc)-the ones that will likely promote the greatest objective and subjective feelings of wellness-may not feel much like self-care.  That's ok!  Know that practicing them consistently will move you into understandings of self-care as a gift to yourself and to others.  

To the easy and not-so-easy (initially) self-care practices!
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    Nadia Brewart, Ph.D., is a student of life with an insatiable curiosity about what it means to be human, amidst encounters with the human condition. 

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